Chapter Four
by QueenOfFanFicWorldLoveGunner
Summary: A parody for the forth chapter of my sisters American Dragon fanfic. But due to this having little to do with American Dragon, it lands in the Naruto section. STRONG LANGUAGE. AND SEXUAL THEMES. Crackcrackcrack. Includes Akatsuki and Crossovers.


**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing in this story.**

**This was written as a parody chapter when my sister got writters block. Her story is an American Dragon: Jake Long horror story. If you wanna read the real thing, go to my profile, go to my favorite authors, click on 'DragonSummoner888' Look through her stories, and the story is 'Jakes Fear' 8D**

**Prepare for mindnumbing crack now.**

**-Chapter Four**

Jake began eating at the table. The food was uber-yummy and he was currently stuffing his face.

So he obviously wasn't paying attention to the scene behind him.

Deidara and Sasori were making out ontop of a table. Konan was video-taping the scene for her porn she was making. Spud wanted to be in it too so he tryed to stand behind them and take his clothes off. But then Pain appered and Konan began making out with him.

Itachi and Kisame had checked in and were currently writting a Artemis Fowl FanFic, because Kisame had a crush on Holly Short. Hidan had reverted to Cathlocness and was preaching to the Sailor Scouts on why wearing short skirts will send them to Hell. Kakuzu however had become a zombie, so he was living in the Neverland Ranch with Michael Jacksons ghost.

By this point, Deidara and Sasori had removed large portions of their clothes. But then Deidara remembered that Sasori didn't have a penis. So they decided to stop and started playing Blackjack with Buick Riviera instead.

Tobi had come over. But seeing Deidara half-naked playing cards really turned him on so he turned into Madara and started glomping Deidara.

Meanwhile back with Kisame and Itachi. Kisame had finished his story. It became more famous then My Immortal by Tara Gilspie. But Itachi found out that after Sasuke had gotten married to Naruto. They were both run over by their own Honeymoon train. So Itachi went to move to San Andreas and became a Hooker/Zombie/Gangster/Stripper. Eventually he became one of CJ's girlfriends. And in the game, if you have sex with him you get to unlock the Akatsuki robe which gives CJ the ability to summon fangirls to eat the Policemens faces off.

But back at the Hotel, Konan had gotten pregnant. So her and Pain took a cruise ship to Amarica so they could get married. But then Pain started getting cold feet and Almighty-Pulled an Iceburg into the ship. Sinking the Titanic.

Konan flew off the ship and became Rose Dawson's lover.(The one from Titanic) Konan gave her baby to Rose to raise. Konan then had a short-lived relationship with Shailaigh Hacker. But Shailaigh died of a sickness and her son Eddie became a Vampire and moved to Forks Washington. Konan finally returned to the Hotel and became the Uke of Rose Dawson.(The one from Amarican Dragon)

During all of this, Hidan decided he was Jewish. So he searched out Kakuzu and the two had sex. They then changed their names to Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson, became famous actors and bribed their Directors with the Akatsuki's funds to put them in every single movie together.

Eventually Tobi got bored with Deidara. Tobi then used Mangekyo Sharingan to make everyone think he was a shape-shifter. He then changed his name to Jakop Blak. Moved to Forks Washington. And began a gay relationship with Eddie Hacker, who had now become a wizard. Before being kidnapped by Carlise Cullen. And molested by Bella Swan.

Back with Deidara, the blonde had become frusterated with being molested by Tobi and then losing to Sasori in every cardgame ever made. Deidara then became addicted to Video Games. And when he went to confess his love to CJ from Grand Theft Auto, and found out his relationship with Itachi. Deidara went crazy and went back to the hotel. And started making out with Sasori again. Because Sasori was his true love, penis or not.

Riviera moved to the Wildwest after his fateful cardgame with Deidara. He then met up with Hidan/Owen and Kakuzu/Ben. After hearing of Deidara's cardplaying skills. They got on a ship to go see him.

Little did they know that it was also Konan and Roses' Honeymoon location. So the two gay couples got together and started having tea. And discussing sexual positions they'd used.

Konan then saw Pain climb through the window, he had somehow survived the sinking and told Konan that after years of living with the peaceful, loving, Avatar Mermaids under the sea. He'd decided he wanted to finally Marry Konan. Rose let them because she thought the scene was uber-cute.

Kisame was on the ship having a huge party and he did the ceremony. And as it turned out, Itachi had smuggled himself on board the ship too. Because after CJ had gotten in a gang accident and had to have so much plastic sugery that he now looked exactly like Sasuke. But then Kisame reveiled that he'd saw Sasuke having sex with Naruto on one of the tables at his party. They had been revived by Masashi Kishimoto's Plot-no-Jutsu. So Itachi became a goodguy again.

Deidara and Sasori had also accidentally ended up on the boat. Because the table they were making out on was being sent to the party, go figure?

Finally, as they were all celebrating and getting ready to have a reunion orgy. The ship they were on, the Titan, hit a iceburg.

They survived the swim to a island. But then they were all eaten by a Polar Bear, who was really Tobi who had left Eddie after finding out he cheated on him with Kabuto, who had since changed his name to Harry Potter. After getting attacked by Orochimaru who got pissed off because he lost his nose and all his hair fell out. Then he'd become a emo wizard.

But Tobi was then eaten by Kyubi, who Naruto was trying to take out for a walk.

Rose also survived the wreak. She floated back to the Hotel, where she then found out the murderer was Vicky the Siren. They fell in love and started making out. But, then Rose remembered loving Jake so they couldn't be together. Vicky got mad and decided to go continue killing people.

By then, after those events all took place in five minutes and Jake had eaten all the food at the table. He turned around, now being very fat. He picked his nose and asked,

"Hi Rose. Did I miss something?"

"No Jake, not at all. Anyway, where were we?" A young woman appered behind the table. She had big boobs, and blue hair with a white rose in it. Rose looked at her. "Have we met?" She asked.

"Not since your family checked in dear." She replied. "My names Konan Dawson." Konan's first child, who had hit puberty early with the power of Masashi Kishimoto's Plot-no-Jutsu.

**End Chapter**


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